More from my friend: Pharmaceutical company mergers tick me off too, but that’s another story. What’s the last revolutionary drug to cure a major illness you can remember? Aren’t you tired of all the erection drugs, antacids, happy pills, and various other over-marketed crap we have to put up with these days? The pharmaceutical industry has lost sight of its mission to better mankind. Their new mission is to produce the slickest ads to make people buy shit they don’t need — or worse, things that ACTUALLY MAKE people worse. If your heart hurts when you eat an entire double cheese pizza with sausage, pepperoni, hamburger, Canadian bacon, and buffalo chicken, maybe you should start eating a little differently instead of just masking the heart pain symptoms, eh? I love it. And people who are stressed out 100% of the time, instead of needing to slow down and take care of themselves, can now pop happy pills during the day to take away the edge, and happy penis pills at night. In fact, some antidepressants or other medications actually take away the libido anyway, which means the pharmaceutical companies benefit twice, once for making pills that have negative side effects! You’ve got to admire Glaxo though. Instead of researching cool new drugs, they just keep researching new uses for the crappy old ones they already have (and sometimes renaming them). Wellbutrin is apparently not only an antidepressant, but also an anti-obsessive-compulsive-disorder drug, an anti-smoking drug, and an anti-impotence drug! What next? Cancer and AIDS? Pharmaceutical industry is a bunch of no good punks. I’d like to smack them all upside the head with a giant bar of Fight Club soap.