What does the world want to know? I used this keyword tool to blend the following two lines into a list of possible question beginnings:

• who, what, when, where, why
• is, are, was, were, has, had, have

Thie outputted (a real word?) list was fed into Google and this ball-owning list was returned:

1. what day is - Dag.  I just remember that I was going to write a program today.  Thanks a frickin’ lot, Late Night Pizza!
2. what is business
3. what is business process reengineering - whatever it is, can we all agree it sounds painfully boring?
4. what is going on - LOL.
5. what is in - this drink?  Wait… that… flavor… WHERE IS THE ANTIDOTE!!??
6. what is life
7. what is sag
8. what is the maximum - number of nut-punches Rick Santorum can endure?
9. what is the minimum - number of republican senators it takes to screw in a light bulb?
10. what is the relationship between - Senator Rick Santorum and this dude?
11. where is bethlehem
12. who is in - In Rick Santorum’s ass?
13. who is on
14. who is the best
15. who was scarface
16. why hurricanes are named - because it is good to ruin certain names forever.
17. what is gout - My doctor once took me aside and whispered, “gout.  Gout.  Let it all out.  You know the cause is buildup of uric acid this doesn’t rhyme.”
18. what is colitis
19. what is six sigma - I saw books for that when checking out “business process reengineering.”  Basically, it’s a way the Freemasons control the economy.
20. what is ethernet
21. what is web services
22. what is schizophrenia
23. what is a mutual fund
24. what is islam
25. what is vitamin a
26. what is genital herpes - why can’t disease be named by drug companies so they sound nicer?
27. what is libor
28. what is chemotherapy
29. what is project management
30. what is nlp
31. what is depression
32. what is iq
33. what is truth
34. what are carbohydrates
35. what is white paper
36. what is ram
37. what is rs232
38. what is a llc
39. what is a firewall
40. what is sexual harassment - that’s an easy one, little lady.  Here [moves behind her] let me show you…
41. what is supply chain
42. breast cancer what is
43. what is mesothelioma - bad things from asbesteos.  Bad, bad things.  Good things for lawyers.  They make all sorts of money from mesothelioma claims as they don’t require much work to settle, the returns are huge and almost guaranteed.
44. what is smtp
45. what is lyme disease
46. what is tmj
47. what is atenolol
48. when is sweetest day
49. what is leadership
50. what are vitamins
51. what is anxiety
52. where in the world is carmen san diego - I liked that computer game.  The TV show… a bit on the gay side.  The game, though, that was awesome.  It’s goal was to get you to learn about world geography by tracking criminals as they left clues around the world.  In actuality, you could figure out who the criminals were by memorizing what kind of food they preferred.
53. what is database
54. where is the g spot - Don’t bother.  It’s not really important anyway.
55. when is ovulation
56. where the heart is
57. where the boys are
58. where is sri lanka
59. what is udp
60. what is intellectual property
61. what is blogging
62. what is knowledge management
63. what is hipaa
64. when is fathers day
65. what is gps - Global Penile Severing.  Pionerred by that Bobbit lady.  Lorena?  Wow that joke is old.
66. what is attention deficit disorder
67. what is jsp
68. what is the interest rate
69. what is customer service
70. what was i thinkin - when I dated that hippy?  Or wait, we didn’t date, but I kind of hit on her a bit.  Sill, she cornered me the other day and talked for an extended period on her time in a tree house on the Virgin Islands.  As much as I wanted to mock her… threehouses are pretty badass.  It’s like a normal house, but you get to poop off a balcony.
71. what is ged - Sands fer “get ‘er dun.”  Go on, now!  Get ‘er dun!
72. what is gsm
73. what is rfid
74. what is ergonomics
75. what is l glutamine
76. what is adsl
77. what is insomnia
78. what is strategic planning
79. where is aruba
80. what is sql server
81. what is atherosclerosis
82. what is computer software - wow.  How old are you?  I’m guessing 5 or maybe 90.
83. what is viagra
84. what is paxil
85. what is bluetooth
86. what is bipolar - after you found this out, check out 84.  That may help.
87. what is constipation
88. what is citrix
89. use what you have decorating
90. do what you are
91. what is calcium
92. dns what is
93. what is creativity
94. what is a limited liability company
95. what is prostate cancer
96. what is testosterone
97. lupus what is
98. tell when someone is lying
99. what is the holy spirit
100. what is web service

I think I may take a nap.  Friggin pizza.

I cannot fall asleep and I’m going a little nuts. What do I do? Go for a jog? No, there’s that pizza I ate and muchacho the equation is: pizza + jog - sleep = copious vomit.

What the hell? Why are there all of these miniature ants in my sink? They’re nowhere else (that I can tell) in my house, so they must love toothpaste. Can ants live on toothpaste and toothpaste alone? Is there a list that will bring no answers to this question?

starting with:

ants
toothpast

I get:

1. ants
2. toothpaste
3. carpenter ants
4. fire ants
5. sugar ants
6. dog toothpaste - They frickin’ need it, too.  How about some dog anti-gas pills while you’re at it.
7. kill ants
8. white footed ants - Adorable!
9. toothpaste for dinner - Exactly which part of the food pyramid is this satisfying?
10. exterminating ants - I recommend Dalek Ant Extermination Services.  “At DAES, our motto is:  Exterminate!  Exterminate!“
11. ants marching
12. pet toothpaste
13. crest toothpaste
14. cat toothpaste
15. florida fire ants
16. ants com
17. herbal toothpaste
18. colgate toothpaste
19. ants boric acid
20. tea tree toothpaste
21. therabreath toothpaste - GenericName ToothPaste
22. kids toothpaste
23. toothpaste brands
24. listerine toothpaste
25. fluoride toothpaste
26. leaf cutter ants
27. leiningen versus the ants
28. rembrandt toothpaste
29. how to get rid of ants
30. toothpaste for breakfast
31. tom’s toothpaste
32. toothpaste ingredients
33. getting rid of ants
34. ants eat
35. two bad ants - can spoil the bunch.
36. chocolate covered ants - how about candy-coated vomit?  Does that sound tasty, you filthy hippy?
37. ants software - is this like Boidz?
38. study of ants
39. ants profiler
40. ants with wings
41. driver ants - for stripper ants wanted.
42. aim toothpaste
43. pictures of ants
44. killing ants
45. marvis toothpaste
46. fluoride in toothpaste
47. live ants
48. how to kill ants - you must find the Original Ant, my son.  If you kill the Original Ant, all others will fall.
49. king of the ants
50. velvet ants - This just sounds luxurious!
51. aquafresh toothpaste
52. bullet ants - Awesome!  Bullets filled with ants!
53. facts about ants
54. history of toothpaste
55. ants pictures
56. ants game
57. the ants go marching one by one
58. toothpaste com
59. buy ants
60. crazy ants
61. sensodyne toothpaste - wasn’t “Sensodyne” the corporation that built the Terminator?
62. cutter ants
63. worker ants
64. ants go marching lyrics
65. homemade toothpaste
66. soldier ants - are often protested by hippy ants.
67. lyrics ants marching
68. what is the study of ants called - Anthropology.  Duh.
69. flouride toothpaste
70. leafcutter ants - now all we need are lawnmowing ants and what will fourth graders do to make money during the summer?
71. ants go marching one by one
72. battle of the ants
73. the study of ants
74. arm and hammer toothpaste
75. species of ants
76. toothpaste dinner
77. ants for sale
78. fayetteville fire ants
79. florida ants
80. all about ants
81. fire ants bite - yeah they fucking do.
82. ants food
83. kill fire ants - of the other three elements, I recommend water over earth or wind.
84. organic toothpaste
85. baking soda toothpaste
86. african ants
87. how to make toothpaste - DO NOT use potatoes
88. dave matthews band ants marching - like ants marching to a dave matthews concert.
89. ants in the house
90. old toothpaste brand
91. toothpaste brand
92. pharoah ants - let my people go!
93. imported fire ants
94. leaf cutting ants
95. leiningen vs the ants
96. wood ants
97. darkie toothpaste
98. toothbrush and toothpaste
99. the battle of the ants
100. dangerous ants

I’m writing some software to help make these lists into actual lists of links - which would be very helpful to many of you. That got me thinking about compilers. I’m interested in online compilers as I think the idea is cool, even romantic. Picture it: you, the rogue coder on the road, without aboad. All you carry with you is a two gig flash drive with the bare necesseties. It’d be nice to have an online site that could compile your code. It’d be nice to finally have a place to hang your hat, with a wife and kids and maybe some pets and a goddamn white picket fence… but no… those cards just ain’t in your deck, Jackson.

Starting with:

• compiler
• compiling
• compilers
• compiled

I get:

1. compilers
2. compiler
3. compiling
4. compiled
5. ebook compilers - Fuck, yes!  I like the idea of eBooks, I really do.  It’s good to see so many people are interested in creating them.
6. fortran compiler - I love it.  I love that people still use Fortran (contr. of “formula translator”).  I also love the people still learn Latin.  Add as well to my list of things which I love:  nerds.  Sweet, beautiful, delicious nerds.
7. cobol compiler - Go Grace Hooper!  You left a bug in our hearts!
8. pic compiler
9. c compiler
10. c++ compiler
11. c++ compilers
12. basic compiler
13. fortran compiler linux
14. windows help compiler
15. rpg compiler - maybe you should search on “RPG engine” or something like that.  There aren’t what I would really call “compilers” for role-playing games.  And you call yourself a nerd.
16. visual c++ compiler
17. java compiler
18. crossword compiler
19. microchip c compiler
20. asn 1 compiler
21. c language compiler
22. gcc compiler
23. vb compiler
24. borland compiler
25. chm compiler
26. c# compiler
27. hc11 compiler
28. compiled html help file
29. compiler source code - I love this about computer science.  That you can compile compilers!  The word “pile” is starting to sound ridiculous the more I say it.
30. c compiler cannot create executables - cry me a fucking river.
31. pl i compiler
32. turbo c++ compiler
33. cross compiler
34. jit compiler
35. vb compilers
36. borland c++ compiler
37. cc compiler
38. windows c compiler
39. compiling kernel - I do like the word “kernel”.  Kernel.  Kernel.  Kernel. I changed my mind.
40. basic language compiler
41. c++ compiler download
42. pascal compiler
43. compiler for c
44. intel c++ compiler
45. unable to find a javac compiler - are you kidding?  Well, I’m almost not surprised.  Sure, that search is probably on a generic error message, but it could also be for real as the Sun Microsystems Java website is really horrible.  I can never find what I’m after.  Plus, it’d be cool - and maybe it’s out there and goddammit I just cannot find it - if there could be a link to the lates JRE.  Right now you have to link to specific JREs, and that just is crappypants.  Okay, like an idiot I had yet to search on “latest JRE” and - ohmygodwouldn’tyouknowit - the first fucking link is this site.  Who deserves the wet-willy now, eh Brian?
46. qbasic compiler
47. c++ compiler windows
48. gnu c++ compiler
49. fortran compilers
50. internal compiler error
51. compiling c++
52. compiling c
53. snippet compiler
54. compiled html help
55. javascript compiler
56. arm compiler
57. lisp compiler
58. flash compiler
59. microsoft c compiler
60. microsoft c++ compiler
61. win32 compiler
62. command line compiler
63. download c compiler
64. mib compiler
65. eclipse compiler
66. intel c compiler
67. fortran 77 compiler
68. independence compiler
69. ccs compiler
70. cobol compilers
71. c compiler linux
72. mingw compiler - what?
73. ruby compiler - what?
74. diab compiler - what?
75. compiler download
76. vhdl compiler - what?
77. no acceptable c compiler
78. c18 compiler - what?
79. keil compiler - what?  I’m behind tha times.
80. intel compilers
81. compiler cannot create executables
82. present but cannot be compiled
83. c# compilers
84. java native compiler
85. visual basic compiler
86. compiled java
87. c compiler for mac
88. gif compiler
89. ubuntu c compiler - Just ’cause Google’s using a modified ubuntu, suddenly it’s the heat.  Maybe it is the heat.  I’ll never know ’cause you just made me do this!  I need to get some sleep.  It’s 6AM now.  What am I doing?  The pizza!  It was that fucking pizza!  I knew it was bad news!
90. compiling c programs
91. c compiler for linux
92. vb net compiler
93. unix compiler
94. the compiler failed with error code 2000
95. compiling programs
96. compiler flags - more like “compiler fags”.  Now that is a gay fettish I’d like to see.
97. vb6 compiler
98. code compiler

Now I’m all worked up on things which are secure, thanks to the last post.

1. secure
2. secure copy - do you have any secure copies of naked pictures of your mother?  Do you want some?
3. secure digital memory
4. secure fx - Oh Ferrington Point this sounds gay.
5. global secure
6. secure shell - crustaceans in the hiz-ouse gonna trick out they shiz-ell.
7. secure email
8. secure certificate
9. 512mb secure digital
10. secure computing
11. secure vpn - vpn?  I don’t know what that is.  I’ll be damned.  Like google read my mind, they made this the first search result.  Thank you google, you beautiful monster.
12. secure server -  “hello, I am jonathan, and I will be your secure server this evening.  Can I interest you in any secure appetizers, or as I like to call them, ‘appe-teasers’?”
13. secure digital media
14. secure horizon insurance
15. sandisk secure digital
16. secure digital memory cards
17. secure ftp client
18. secure loan - a loan that does not involve the potential for me to receive more broken fingers?  Where do I find out more information on such goods and services?
19. secure ftp - “mother may I F-T-P?  No.. wait… it was.. um.. C-U-P.  ha hahahahahahah!  I’m retarded”
20. secure video
21. secure mail server
22. secure servers
23. secure wireless lan - I wish that were a capital ‘i’ and not a lowercase ‘l’.  I would like to see a wireless Ian, much less a secure wireless Ian.
24. secure memory - like remembering your mother’s birtherday.  that’d betterfucking be secure.  Oh, she didn’t do much… just give birth to you!
25. 128mb secure digital
26. secure message - SECURE MESSAGE TO YOUR MOTHER: Last night was great STOP I have your two dollars STOP
27. secure login
28. secure instant messenger
29. name secure
30. secure computer
31. visa secure
32. secure access manager
33. secure file sharing
34. sd secure digital
35. mastercard secure code
36. secure shell client
37. secure proxy
38. secure certificates - I’m interested in secure gift sertificates.  How do I know that Subway won’t discontinue another one of their awesome incentive programs?
39. pda secure
40. secure domain - okay, I’m getting tired of this list.  I’m also getting tired of me saying “okay” all the time.  Like, get a new fucking word already.
41. secure windows - “Introducing from Microsoft:  Bullet-proof Windows!”  That would be kick-my-ass better than the comparatively gay, “Windows Vista”.  Gag me with a secure spoon!
42. secure tunneling
43. secure modem
44. secure http
45. secure web site
46. secure terminal
47. secure network
48. secure authentication
49. secure data
50. secure remote
51. secure content management - my friend!  Content Management!  How good to see you again!
52. secure clean
53. secure applications
54. secure tech
55. citrix secure
56. secure digital 512
57. f secure
58. secure networks
59. secure digital
60. secure web pages
61. flash secure
62. secure horizons
63. secure pass
64. secure digital card
65. secure logon
66. 256mb secure digital card
67. 512mb secure
68. secure web server
69. secure computer systems
70. secure digital sd card
71. secure erase
72. secure networking
73. secure digital review
74. secure mobile
75. secure swing - I picture some sort of playgound apparatus for paranoid parents like with multiple buckles and snaps and clamps.
76. cisco secure vpn
77. secure unix
78. ssh secure shell
79. secure crt
80. secure parking
81. cisco secure ids
82. secure scan
83. secure websites
84. secure wireless
85. rsa secure id
86. secure folder
87. f secure antivirus - I am sleepy. it is almost two in the AM.  What does that stand for again?  Anos Meridian or some doughnut punching thing like that?  Yikes!  Check out the first image on google images for “donut”.  Crigey.
88. secure wireless network
89. secure connections
90. secure sites
91. google secure access
92. secure web browser
93. 1gb secure digital
94. secure access
95. secure password
96. secure horizon
97. ssh secure
98. secure client
99. f secure ssh
100. lexar jumpdrive secure

Sleepytimeforme.

Sorry about the lack of list yesterday.  I’ll be extra commenty today.

So and like I’ve been warming up more and more to the idea of content managment (typo) systems (CMS). For those not in the know (Meredith?), a content management system is something like WordPress (which is what I use for this site, Geneffects and Vocablog) which basically tries to separate (seperate?) design from the content of the web site. For example, if you want to write a blog entry in WordPress, you go to the “write” tab. You don’t have to worry about how the site looks at all, all you are concerned with is the content of your post.

At first I was gung-ho, “hand-coding is art! CMS removes the life from the web!” Now I’m more “I’d rather be doing something else with my time than having to change 150 web pages when I want to just change one thing.”

What does the world care about this kind of thing? I started with this seed:

• content management
• content managment
• content manager
• contentmanagement
• cms

And got back:

1. cms
2. content management
3. web content management
4. website content management
5. content management system
6. web content management system
7. content management server
8. php cms - WordPress is written in PHP.  I like PHP.  Dan loves PHP.  Dan hates this site.  I have mixed feelings about Dan’s opinions.
9. microsoft content management
10. cms 2002
11. content management systems
12. vignette cms - this sounds interesting.  i’m-a check it out.  Okay, they are this site.  They sell their CMS and don’t put any prices on their site which leads me to believe they are uber pricey.  (imagine two dots over the ‘u’ in “uber”.)
13. java cms - I like Java.  I do, and it seems to have found it’s calling on the server side.  But it seems that so much badassness is written in PHP that it makes me wonder if PHP is the better language for this sort of game.  Okayokayokay, Java is OO (object oriented), but maybe you don’t need objects for projects as lean as most of these web apps.
14. asp content management - is anyone else as hungry as I am?  I think I’m going to throw a Totino’s p-za on the ov.
15. cms hhs gov hipaa hipaa2
16. cms hosting
17. electronic content management
18. open source cms - A good idea in general.  It seems that almost all software is going open source.  Once something is open-source, she cannot go back and my thought(s) is that eventually there will be a good-enough open-source version of just about every type of software out there.  In 50 years the majority of software sales will be for very customized apps.
19. cms workflow - thing is, it’s so late that I run the risk of becoming fat if I eat this pizza.  You know.  Eating and sleeping.
20. dynamic content management
21. web site content management
22. www cms hhs gov
23. cms gov
24. content management consulting
25. content management vendors
26. mambo cms - Mambo is open source.  Their web site looks pretty killa.
27. content management review
28. cms medicare - screw it.  I’m gonna eat the pizza.
29. cms portal
30. cms government
31. digital content management
32. cms 1500
33. cms websites
34. secure content management - security and open source.  There is a debate for you.  is open source software intrinsically more secure than closed source?  Now i’m all fired up to make an secure list.  (I just went forward in time and got the link to it, so that link should work.)  Let’s leave this debate for that page.
35. cms absplus - you want tighter abs!  You know it!  Let’s get out there and let’s hussle!
36. cms software
37. cms k12 nc us - Wow.  North carolina.  Was that put on there just for me?  Does Google know that I am in all fact a redneck?
38. cms company - the pizza is delicious.
39. website content management system - where are the dumbass searches like “please play me the song i am in love with a srtipper please”.  These people seem, eh, smarter somehows.
40. www cms gov
41. cms psu
42. cms communications
43. cms school
44. opensource cms
45. webmail cms k12 nc us
46. avaya cms
47. cms webmail
48. cms charlotte
49. best cms - do any of these types of searches ever work ever?  I mean, do you really believe anyone that says “this is the best”?  My approach is usually just to search on “CMS” or whatever and then let the magic of Google help do the sorting for me.  Oh sure, I won’t necessarily believe that the top entry is the best, but I’ll strongly suspect that it is somewhere on the first page.  Thank you, Google, goddamit.  You know you 0wn my balls.
50. www cms - I just ate the whole pizza.  It wasn’t huge, but c’mon, the whole thing?  How fat will I be in 20 years?  Will I still be able to get away with a mohawk?
51. cms website
52. open cms
53. cms products
54. cms content management
55. cms test
56. php content management
57. cms review
58. cms consulting
59. dragonfly cms
60. microsoft cms
61. asp cms
62. cms forex
63. www cms psu edu
64. cms hhs
65. illinois cms
66. magnolia cms - this just sounds pretty.  Like it smells good.  Aside to M:  do magnolia CMSs grow in clusters?
67. simple cms
68. cms matrix - this one smells like plastic.
69. cms backup
70. microsoft content management server
71. simple content management system
72. open source content management system - again, thank you for typing all of these words.  do you think “open CMS” search would produce similar results?  Better results?
73. cold fusion cms - stone cold fusion!
74. cms to inches
75. nppes cms hhs gov
76. cms guidelines
77. what is cms
78. www cms hhs gov medicarereform
79. cms part d
80. exponent cms
81. cms medicaid
82. cms 1500 form
83. cms nc
84. web cms
85. rds cms hhs gov
86. cms design
87. www cms com
88. cms reviews
89. what is content management - I tried to explain it.  I didn’t do a good job.  You’re right, mom, you’re right.
90. rails cms
91. net content management
92. flash cms - this sounds fancy but probably not practicle (practical?  particle?)  Like, Flash just wasn’t built for this sort of thing.
93. farcry cms
94. asp net cms
95. easy cms - WordPress.  Fo-shizzle.
96. cms script
97. us cms
98. cms inc
99. coldfusion cms
100. cms companies